Saturday, January 10, 2015

Reflections of husband- and fatherhood

So it's a trying time for my mental & physical health over the past few months, culminating in the current (and second!) bout of HFMD, with spots breaking out on my palms, and mouth ulcers ruining my taste but not my hunger. My son was acting up just a minute before I typed this, throwing toys around and threatening to spill his drink - all a part of the growing up that kids between two and three years old experience.

For the first time in a long while, I couldn't muster the usual anger response to the situation around me. Due to a lack of physical strength, I was left helpless looking at John as he overturned his train set before kicking me in the shin, chanting, "I don't want Daddy!" The only thing I could do was to stretch out my arms and say to him, "But Daddy loves you. Can I give you a hug?"

After much cajoling, he gave me a hug and a kiss, and said sorry.

There was nothing I could do to make him feel sorry or to compel him to give me that hug. Nothing and no one but the Holy Spirit. During such moments of helplessness when confronted with the childish behaviour of my own kids, I'm reminded of what Paul the Apostle wrote in his second letter to the church in Corinth, "And he (Jesus) said unto me, My grace is sufficient for you: for my strength is made perfect in weakness."

My Father in heaven uses such moments of weakness to teach me life lessons, and to love my family. Bless the name of the LORD God.