thoughts about dad-hood

Not much actually.

I had the impression that there would be a light shining from above once Faith was born. Well, not that dramatic but you get what I mean.


Faith salutes!

Truth is, everything still feels about the same.

Except maybe things that used to bother me don't anymore. And things that didn't bother me are starting to.


Pre-bowel movement expression. Say "oooo."

Things like:

1. Will Faith end up with myopia like 90% of other kids at school-going age now?

2. How do we bring kids up in this place where a person is valued by how much he/she earns?

3. How do we make sure Faith doesn't lose her sense of wonder in a place where thinking and questioning are taboo but conformity is highly valued?

4. Will Faith be mentally myopic?


After-shower wakefulness.

I am seriously contemplating a life outside of 1984-ville. Melbourne specifically. This is not new. I've flirted with the idea of settling Down Under many times. Having stayed there for an extended period too. Now there's a sense of urgency in this. Perhaps I see truckloads, ok, well maybe not truckloads, but another close relative preparing to uproot his family to a more genteel place.


Posing for the camera.

Fuck Screw (update: Wifey objected to my use of strong language) patriotism. Sorry. I don't like vulgarities but some TV news report in the background was extoling the virtues of our great and glorious regime. Anyway, patriotism is a word used by politicians and war-mongers to justify mass killings. My only loyalty is to family and friends. These are the people who are real to me, not some nebulous ideas. For the matter, not even the nearest neighbour separated from me by a 20cm thick wall.

Maybe I'm beginning to understand the lengths which parents will go and the risks they take for love of their families.




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