"...and what does the LORD require of you, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?" So wrote the prophet Micah, more than seven centuries before Christ. Someone once told me something regarding the much misunderstood concept of freedom of choice. In essence what this person told me was that while we're free to choose our daily course of action, we're not free from the consequences of any and all actions we take. We reap what we sow. If we desire the justice, mercy, and love of God, then should we not adopt these attributes in our everyday?
It is interesting that John, the beloved disciple of Christ, echoed words similar to Micah almost eight hundred years after, when he asked the rhetorical question, "But whoso have this world's good, and seeing his brother have need, and shuts up his compassion from his brother, how may the love of God dwell in him?"
As we remember the birth of Christ, let's remember to deal justly with mercy, and know that there is a great God who gives love and life to us common men all. Let us love so that the love of God may dwell in us.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Monday, October 27, 2014
The vanity of stressing over school
Was talking to my uncle the other day. He's someone who epitomizes 孟母三遷, moving to Melbourne 6 years ago for the sake of his children's education. To cut the story short, his kids were not doing well in school in Singapore. But after moving here, they completed high school at a slower pace. The older sibling finished his NS last year and is in university now while the younger is awaiting enlistment in a month's time.
The part that should get the attention of friends back in Singapore is that the elder kid applied for NUS, and was given a place without having to ace the 'A' level, and without having to fulfil a Mother Tongue requirement. The two kids went through what you'd describe as an average high school experience in Melbourne, and got average Year 12 grades.
And before you say it, no, his dad, my uncle, isn't some rich guy by a long shot. He had to work two jobs and weekends to make ends meet after obtaining his residency in Melbourne. In fact, he is set on giving up his PR in Australia to return to Singapore once his younger kid enrols in university in two years' time, saying he can't get used to life here.
What price is our children paying for that precious A* or A1?
The part that should get the attention of friends back in Singapore is that the elder kid applied for NUS, and was given a place without having to ace the 'A' level, and without having to fulfil a Mother Tongue requirement. The two kids went through what you'd describe as an average high school experience in Melbourne, and got average Year 12 grades.
And before you say it, no, his dad, my uncle, isn't some rich guy by a long shot. He had to work two jobs and weekends to make ends meet after obtaining his residency in Melbourne. In fact, he is set on giving up his PR in Australia to return to Singapore once his younger kid enrols in university in two years' time, saying he can't get used to life here.
What price is our children paying for that precious A* or A1?
Sunday, October 26, 2014
A personal response to a simplistic view of school
This article has been making its rounds on the net. The writer made some suggestions on how to improve students' experience of school. These points make sense on paper but, having worked with school administrators, I can offer reasons for not implementing them. These are also reasons for actively preventing the writer's suggestions from being realized.
The numbered points correspond with those in the article, so you may wish to refer to that article while reading this.
#1 Students sit all day, and sitting is exhausting
Reason to not allow students freedom to move around - they may hurt themselves while not sitting down in class. A higher degree of freedom creates an issue of legal liability. I have had many encounters with this "cover your backside" mentality. One example happened two winters ago when it snowed overnight on campus. The staff and students arrived to a picturesque, white fairy-land the next morning. Of course the natural thing to do was to play in the snow before class started for the day. But around the second or third period of the day, a general order was issued from the administrators - DO NOT let the kids play in the snow. The reason given was so the students don't slip and hurt themselves. Teachers had to patrol the school ground during lunch break, herding students back indoors if they wandered out.
#2 High school students are sitting passively listening about 90% of the time
Reason to curtail student participation or taking time to allow students to learn at their own pace, especially at high school where they have to face a graduation exam (in the Singaporean context, 'O' & 'A' level exam) - teachers have to ensure the complete coverage of the exam syllabus. It is difficult to cover the curriculum in time if teachers integrate more activities and participation. Sometimes school policy can directly conflict with allowing students to learn at their pace. For example, in a school I used to work with, there was a blanket policy of not giving students more than two tests a week across all subjects. That meant all subject teachers had to book their test dates at least one term ahead. With other school-wide activities also having to share the same time-table, it would be nearly impossible to "finish the curriculum" in time for the exams. Don't forget that teachers are held accountable for students' performance in tests and exams, not how well they participated or learned things on their own. True learning takes time, but that must be sacrificed for the sake of exam preparedness.
#3 Students are made to feel like a nuisance
Two reasons conspire to create this feeling. First, teachers are have to go into class with the goal of completing the lesson objective. This is also one of the main things administrators are looking for when they drop in to observe teacher competency in class. Second, there is an erosion of trust between schools and parents. This results in school administrators emphasizing the legal implications of getting too close to students. In other words, be prepared for legal troubles if teachers invest their emotions into building relationships with students. So the result is that teachers go into class to do what is required and no more, some even to the point of shooing students away if they got too close for comfort.
Doing school, like many things we do in society - politics, social welfare, healthcare etc, is inherently difficult. I don't think there is a silver bullet for it. Many teachers I know personally work under adverse conditions, but they try their best for the kids. They are the unsung and unappreciated heroes who want to make a difference in the lives of future generations. If you are a parent with school-going kids, please take time to thank the teachers. And to school administrators, it's not about the salary or benefits. All teachers need to know is that they have the backing of officials when things don't turn out like you expect on paper, in other words, please watch our backs and give us your trust that we are doing our best for the kids.
You're welcome.
The numbered points correspond with those in the article, so you may wish to refer to that article while reading this.
#1 Students sit all day, and sitting is exhausting
Reason to not allow students freedom to move around - they may hurt themselves while not sitting down in class. A higher degree of freedom creates an issue of legal liability. I have had many encounters with this "cover your backside" mentality. One example happened two winters ago when it snowed overnight on campus. The staff and students arrived to a picturesque, white fairy-land the next morning. Of course the natural thing to do was to play in the snow before class started for the day. But around the second or third period of the day, a general order was issued from the administrators - DO NOT let the kids play in the snow. The reason given was so the students don't slip and hurt themselves. Teachers had to patrol the school ground during lunch break, herding students back indoors if they wandered out.
#2 High school students are sitting passively listening about 90% of the time
Reason to curtail student participation or taking time to allow students to learn at their own pace, especially at high school where they have to face a graduation exam (in the Singaporean context, 'O' & 'A' level exam) - teachers have to ensure the complete coverage of the exam syllabus. It is difficult to cover the curriculum in time if teachers integrate more activities and participation. Sometimes school policy can directly conflict with allowing students to learn at their pace. For example, in a school I used to work with, there was a blanket policy of not giving students more than two tests a week across all subjects. That meant all subject teachers had to book their test dates at least one term ahead. With other school-wide activities also having to share the same time-table, it would be nearly impossible to "finish the curriculum" in time for the exams. Don't forget that teachers are held accountable for students' performance in tests and exams, not how well they participated or learned things on their own. True learning takes time, but that must be sacrificed for the sake of exam preparedness.
#3 Students are made to feel like a nuisance
Two reasons conspire to create this feeling. First, teachers are have to go into class with the goal of completing the lesson objective. This is also one of the main things administrators are looking for when they drop in to observe teacher competency in class. Second, there is an erosion of trust between schools and parents. This results in school administrators emphasizing the legal implications of getting too close to students. In other words, be prepared for legal troubles if teachers invest their emotions into building relationships with students. So the result is that teachers go into class to do what is required and no more, some even to the point of shooing students away if they got too close for comfort.
Doing school, like many things we do in society - politics, social welfare, healthcare etc, is inherently difficult. I don't think there is a silver bullet for it. Many teachers I know personally work under adverse conditions, but they try their best for the kids. They are the unsung and unappreciated heroes who want to make a difference in the lives of future generations. If you are a parent with school-going kids, please take time to thank the teachers. And to school administrators, it's not about the salary or benefits. All teachers need to know is that they have the backing of officials when things don't turn out like you expect on paper, in other words, please watch our backs and give us your trust that we are doing our best for the kids.
You're welcome.
Friday, October 24, 2014
The strong women in my life
Living with strong women feels like being on the set of a Disney or Ridley Scott movie. I've always had prominent feminine figures in my life - granny, mum and Wifey. Mum and Wifey have one thing in common - a tough childhood. Abusive care-givers, poverty, you name it, they've experienced it.
Mum never had formal education, and learned what she knows from the toughest school possible, the school of life. She was such a daring and tough nut she moved over to Australia to find opportunities even without being able to converse in English then. Thirty years and many colorful experiences later, she can win any verbal fight with the roughest and toughest of working-class Aussies, and once going toe to toe with a police officer who falsely accused her of a crime she didn't commit. My mum supported me through my teenage years during the 80s when the exchange rate made it very worthwhile to send money back to Singapore. I would not be where I am today without my mum.
Wifey grew up without the certainty of when the next meal would be provided. She sold the evening newspapers at the age of nine to supplement family income. She's a naturally intelligent woman who, for the lack of opportunity, did not progress very far in school. Like my mum, she picked up fluent English as an adult in the working world. And just like mum, I've learned early on in our relationship to never mess with her unless I want to beat a full retreat. Wifey supported me, and believed in me even when I did not. She gave me courage to do things that I wouldn't have otherwise tried.
There are strong women, and there is Mum and Wifey. I love my mum, I love my wife.
Mum never had formal education, and learned what she knows from the toughest school possible, the school of life. She was such a daring and tough nut she moved over to Australia to find opportunities even without being able to converse in English then. Thirty years and many colorful experiences later, she can win any verbal fight with the roughest and toughest of working-class Aussies, and once going toe to toe with a police officer who falsely accused her of a crime she didn't commit. My mum supported me through my teenage years during the 80s when the exchange rate made it very worthwhile to send money back to Singapore. I would not be where I am today without my mum.
Wifey grew up without the certainty of when the next meal would be provided. She sold the evening newspapers at the age of nine to supplement family income. She's a naturally intelligent woman who, for the lack of opportunity, did not progress very far in school. Like my mum, she picked up fluent English as an adult in the working world. And just like mum, I've learned early on in our relationship to never mess with her unless I want to beat a full retreat. Wifey supported me, and believed in me even when I did not. She gave me courage to do things that I wouldn't have otherwise tried.
There are strong women, and there is Mum and Wifey. I love my mum, I love my wife.
The backyard
High-rise & high-density living made me forget about the concept of a
large personal space. It's easier to think in a quiet backyard the size
of my flat in Singapore. Having experienced Hong Kong, Singapore and
now this. Certainly a stark contrast.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Living in the shadow of the mall culture
Hanging out at a shopping mall somewhere in the Melbourne suburb. Can't believe I flew a few thousand miles to do this. You can take a person out of Singapore, but you can't take Singapore out of that person.
Sunday, October 19, 2014
10% service charge
This is a familiar item on restaurant bills but did you know that this amount is NOT given to restaurant staff? So this is not an equivalent of the tip, neither are you paying for "service". Be nice next time you're tempted to make the statement, "I paid the 10% so you better serve me." That's not the way it works here, folks.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
The price of being competitive
Here I am, sitting outside the Central Library along Bras Basah Road, taking a rest while the sound of the city hums in the background. A fire alarm goes off and pierces my consciousness, but nobody around me seems to react to it.
I realize the sensorial overload that city dwellers are subjected to on a daily basis. It's not a wonder that our senses become blunt. Having to handle the assault on the brain does not allow children to develop any kind of meaningful attention span.
Back in the benign 80s and early 90s, the ability to multi-task was lauded in schools and by parents looking to give their kids an edge over others. And not being able to do so was taken as a character flaw.
Is it any wonder that a generation of Singaporeans was raised with attention deficit?
I realize the sensorial overload that city dwellers are subjected to on a daily basis. It's not a wonder that our senses become blunt. Having to handle the assault on the brain does not allow children to develop any kind of meaningful attention span.
Back in the benign 80s and early 90s, the ability to multi-task was lauded in schools and by parents looking to give their kids an edge over others. And not being able to do so was taken as a character flaw.
Is it any wonder that a generation of Singaporeans was raised with attention deficit?
Father-son metro tour
So I went out for a short walk with John while Wifey was busy with errands. It was one of those lazy, humid days where I just want to cool down in a mall. BTW, Parkway Parade has the strongest air conditioning, with my kids having to wear double layers whenever we're there.
So this is "my" metro stop, named after the WW2 SAC of Southeast Asia, and last Viceroy of India, who was unfortunately assassinated by the IRA in the 70s. Anyway, John had a jolly good time pointing to and naming things at the top of his voice, much to the amusement of commuters.
I think the Circle Line has the most colorful station names of all. Harbour Front, Kent Ridge, Holland Village, Caldecott, Tai Seng, Dakota, and so on. Everyone with an interesting story behind it.
So this is "my" metro stop, named after the WW2 SAC of Southeast Asia, and last Viceroy of India, who was unfortunately assassinated by the IRA in the 70s. Anyway, John had a jolly good time pointing to and naming things at the top of his voice, much to the amusement of commuters.
I think the Circle Line has the most colorful station names of all. Harbour Front, Kent Ridge, Holland Village, Caldecott, Tai Seng, Dakota, and so on. Everyone with an interesting story behind it.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Reaching out
In former times lepers were isolated from the rest of humanity. Mark records the account of a leper who asked Lord Jesus for healing. Jesus did two things for him. Before doing the second, He reached out to *touch* him. Do we realize the significance of touching a leper?
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Eye power
If it happens in future, please remind me to stop her from signing on as an army regular...
Why I left Shanghai - epilogue
Teaching can be quite draining work, and over the last three to four years I became detached from my students and colleagues, going into auto-pilot mode to conserve my emotion while neglecting to draw from the Source. A stagnant body of water that receives and does not give becomes dead. This is a time of rest before the longer journey ahead. The way is unknown except to God.
I realize I have the freedom to leave the job in Shanghai, without having to worry about putting food on the table as long as I do the work of God. This work is simply to believe and obey. This then is why I left Shanghai. First to get rested, then followed by reconciliation of wounded relationships, after that other work will line up for my family. God is providing a lamp before my feet, showing me just enough for the next step. Any farther revelation negates the exercise of faith that’s necessary for intimacy with the Lord.
My gut feel is to return to China, where the harvest of souls is indeed plentiful but the labourers insufficient. It is a nation existing in a spiritual vacuum - thanks to six decades under the state ideology of atheism. God has prepared the Chinese to receive Him, the One true God. After that the Gospel will cross Central Asia. I want to be a part of this wave to welcome them who are pressing into the kingdom of God.
I began writing these short notes as a reminder to myself, so I don’t lose my bearing. But I would like to share more with you who are reading this and taking an interest. Part of my time in Singapore includes obeying a command from my Lord Jesus, to “return to thine own house, and show how great things God hath done unto thee.” God has indeed done great things for me. I would like to share more with you, beyond what is written here. Please contact me if you wish to.
May the Spirit of God draw you close to the Father in heaven, through Jesus the Son.
I realize I have the freedom to leave the job in Shanghai, without having to worry about putting food on the table as long as I do the work of God. This work is simply to believe and obey. This then is why I left Shanghai. First to get rested, then followed by reconciliation of wounded relationships, after that other work will line up for my family. God is providing a lamp before my feet, showing me just enough for the next step. Any farther revelation negates the exercise of faith that’s necessary for intimacy with the Lord.
My gut feel is to return to China, where the harvest of souls is indeed plentiful but the labourers insufficient. It is a nation existing in a spiritual vacuum - thanks to six decades under the state ideology of atheism. God has prepared the Chinese to receive Him, the One true God. After that the Gospel will cross Central Asia. I want to be a part of this wave to welcome them who are pressing into the kingdom of God.
I began writing these short notes as a reminder to myself, so I don’t lose my bearing. But I would like to share more with you who are reading this and taking an interest. Part of my time in Singapore includes obeying a command from my Lord Jesus, to “return to thine own house, and show how great things God hath done unto thee.” God has indeed done great things for me. I would like to share more with you, beyond what is written here. Please contact me if you wish to.
May the Spirit of God draw you close to the Father in heaven, through Jesus the Son.
Friday, October 10, 2014
Why I left Shanghai pt 6
They say that a person’s identity is tied up with his work. What this person does for a living defines him. “Hello, my name’s _______. I’m a _______.” What would you put in the second blank when you introduce yourself? Put it another way, what’s the question you’d ask someone after you know the name?
I had been unhappy about work in Shanghai. Much of this unhappiness was due to my lack of gratitude to God for giving me this job. Instead of feeling liberated, there was a feeling of living from one pay cheque to another. Kicking against the goads was, I believe, an apt description of my state of mind.
I wanted to explain the two necessities of life - work and, by extension, the food that I bring to the table. So I embarked on a two-week fast in the winter of 2013, telling God that I was going into the fast without forcing any agenda on Him. Whatever He wanted to tell me, or not, I will listen. A few days into the fast, early one morning - it must have been about 3 or 4 o’clock, I was drifting in and out of sleep when Jesus spoke to me, with the words He said while waiting for the Samaritan woman to return to the well. “My food is to do the will of Him who sent me, and to finish His work.” Having never experience such a direct revelation, I wanted a confirmation that it wasn’t just a lucid dream induced by the fast. It came barely 3 hours later while I was cycling to work - “…for flesh and blood have not revealed it to you, but my Father which is in heaven.” This sentence, recorded by Matthew, just popped into my head. And with it confirmation and epiphany.
The real food is not what’s on the table. God sustains us when we do His work. This sustenance goes beyond the physical. This is why people fast, for there is a purpose higher than our earthly existence, which is to do God’s will. And what is the work of God? As John recorded what Jesus said, “This is the work of God, that you believe on Him [Jesus] whom He [God] has sent.” That’s as direct as it can get.
Don’t worry about my job. I have only to believe and obey Jesus, and He will provide sustenance for my family and me. What's important? That I reconcile relationships. The ones that matter most is the broken relationships with my mother, and the family that raised me. I have to reconcile with them to move out of the shadow of hurts. To allow myself to relate normally with my wife and kids. And what’s more, as a result of reconciliation, I may see my mother and care-givers in eternity.
I had been unhappy about work in Shanghai. Much of this unhappiness was due to my lack of gratitude to God for giving me this job. Instead of feeling liberated, there was a feeling of living from one pay cheque to another. Kicking against the goads was, I believe, an apt description of my state of mind.
I wanted to explain the two necessities of life - work and, by extension, the food that I bring to the table. So I embarked on a two-week fast in the winter of 2013, telling God that I was going into the fast without forcing any agenda on Him. Whatever He wanted to tell me, or not, I will listen. A few days into the fast, early one morning - it must have been about 3 or 4 o’clock, I was drifting in and out of sleep when Jesus spoke to me, with the words He said while waiting for the Samaritan woman to return to the well. “My food is to do the will of Him who sent me, and to finish His work.” Having never experience such a direct revelation, I wanted a confirmation that it wasn’t just a lucid dream induced by the fast. It came barely 3 hours later while I was cycling to work - “…for flesh and blood have not revealed it to you, but my Father which is in heaven.” This sentence, recorded by Matthew, just popped into my head. And with it confirmation and epiphany.
The real food is not what’s on the table. God sustains us when we do His work. This sustenance goes beyond the physical. This is why people fast, for there is a purpose higher than our earthly existence, which is to do God’s will. And what is the work of God? As John recorded what Jesus said, “This is the work of God, that you believe on Him [Jesus] whom He [God] has sent.” That’s as direct as it can get.
Don’t worry about my job. I have only to believe and obey Jesus, and He will provide sustenance for my family and me. What's important? That I reconcile relationships. The ones that matter most is the broken relationships with my mother, and the family that raised me. I have to reconcile with them to move out of the shadow of hurts. To allow myself to relate normally with my wife and kids. And what’s more, as a result of reconciliation, I may see my mother and care-givers in eternity.
Wednesday, October 08, 2014
Why I left Shanghai pt 5
Much as I dislike admitting it, my childhood experience shaped me and coloured my relationships. This was made apparent after getting married and starting a family. Who I really was came out during conflicts with my wife. The way I behaved also affected the children. In short, I failed as the head of the household. Failed very badly regarding Paul’s admonishment to the early church in Ephesus, when he wrote, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”
At some point in 2012 I realized that I was living in the shadow of my past, of being brought up in an absent single-mother family, of verbal and sometimes physical abuse by the care-giver. The relationship with my mother was strained to the point where I refused to join her after she had finalized her migration to Australia, when I was 13. I remember ripping to pieces a letter from the Australian High Commission, informing me to collect my permanent resident’s visa. In my mind then was the thought - you go your way, I’ll go mine.
One of the very first thing Jesus preached on the Mount of Olives was that anger towards another is akin to killing. Just so you know that my Lord sees my anger towards my mother as something as serious as killing her. There is no doubt that I need to go ask her for forgiveness. The question is whether I would cross the sea just to do that. We could talking over the phone, but my gut feel is that a phone conversation doesn’t count. Does anyone seriously believe that years of hurt can be resolved over the phone?
Luke records the account of Jesus crossing the Sea of Galilee to release one person from a legion of demons. Just one person. Jesus crossed the sea of isolation to release me from my past, so I no longer have to live in its shadow. Now my fractured childhood has no hold over me, and my own family can live in the light of Christ. The question remains - would I cross the sea to reconcile with my mother?
At some point in 2012 I realized that I was living in the shadow of my past, of being brought up in an absent single-mother family, of verbal and sometimes physical abuse by the care-giver. The relationship with my mother was strained to the point where I refused to join her after she had finalized her migration to Australia, when I was 13. I remember ripping to pieces a letter from the Australian High Commission, informing me to collect my permanent resident’s visa. In my mind then was the thought - you go your way, I’ll go mine.
One of the very first thing Jesus preached on the Mount of Olives was that anger towards another is akin to killing. Just so you know that my Lord sees my anger towards my mother as something as serious as killing her. There is no doubt that I need to go ask her for forgiveness. The question is whether I would cross the sea just to do that. We could talking over the phone, but my gut feel is that a phone conversation doesn’t count. Does anyone seriously believe that years of hurt can be resolved over the phone?
Luke records the account of Jesus crossing the Sea of Galilee to release one person from a legion of demons. Just one person. Jesus crossed the sea of isolation to release me from my past, so I no longer have to live in its shadow. Now my fractured childhood has no hold over me, and my own family can live in the light of Christ. The question remains - would I cross the sea to reconcile with my mother?
Monday, October 06, 2014
Why I left Shanghai pt 4
Unsolicited emails have a bad reputation, so I did not pay attention to one that a colleague, whom I did not know well, sent me in late spring 2013. It was a request to connect with my wife because she (the colleague, whom I'll name J) wanted to find out more about homeschool. J was moving her family from Shanghai to Xi'an, and she was considering homeschooling her kids.
I must have still been ruminating the scraps of information from the gathering in January when I replied her email, because I made a casual remark about Xi'an being the start of the Silk Road, and there are missionaries trying to carry the Gospel into Central Asia. That throwaway line resonated with her. There is no coincidence in life. It turned out that J was moving as part of the Gospel's westward spread from China proper, across Central Asia, all the way to Jerusalem, back where it started when my Lord Jesus promised the power of the Holy Ghost to be His witnesses to the uttermost part of the Earth.
J invited me to a sharing session in a Korean church. This was the first time I had contact with people who endured hardship for the sake of the Gospel. To know about their story was God answering my wife's prayer. God had shown me a glimpse of His plan for China.
Western missionaries had brought the light of Christ to nearly every part of the world, from the late Roman Empire & the Middle East, to India, Africa, the New World, and later, East Asia and the Pacific. There was one region where none had made headway - Central Asia. This region is the prize God has reserved for the Chinese church. I knew then that my family was allowed into China to be a part of this. If I could support my Chinese brothers & sisters in this, then my family's existence would have meaning, meaning that transcends our time on Earth.
John records my Lord Jesus saying that those who would worship God must worship Him in spirit and in truth. So before I go further, as head of my household, I must live a life of truth. But what is truth? There is no more taste in living a life spent chasing the ephemeral. God wants reconciliation, and He cries when even one person is hurt. Why would Jesus, who knew that He was bringing Lazarus back to life, weep? Shouldn't He be celebrating? He wept because He felt the pain of those who loved Lazarus.
And I had caused someone in my life to weep. And I had hated someone enough to have killed him in my thoughts a hundred times over. This pain & hate defined me until Jesus set me free. Free to walk away from that character-defining hatred, but most important, free to forgive them, to ask for their forgiveness, to seek reconciliation. I feel that this reconciliation must be done before I can move on to help my Chinese brothers & sisters. Anything less would not be living a life of truth.
I must have still been ruminating the scraps of information from the gathering in January when I replied her email, because I made a casual remark about Xi'an being the start of the Silk Road, and there are missionaries trying to carry the Gospel into Central Asia. That throwaway line resonated with her. There is no coincidence in life. It turned out that J was moving as part of the Gospel's westward spread from China proper, across Central Asia, all the way to Jerusalem, back where it started when my Lord Jesus promised the power of the Holy Ghost to be His witnesses to the uttermost part of the Earth.
J invited me to a sharing session in a Korean church. This was the first time I had contact with people who endured hardship for the sake of the Gospel. To know about their story was God answering my wife's prayer. God had shown me a glimpse of His plan for China.
Western missionaries had brought the light of Christ to nearly every part of the world, from the late Roman Empire & the Middle East, to India, Africa, the New World, and later, East Asia and the Pacific. There was one region where none had made headway - Central Asia. This region is the prize God has reserved for the Chinese church. I knew then that my family was allowed into China to be a part of this. If I could support my Chinese brothers & sisters in this, then my family's existence would have meaning, meaning that transcends our time on Earth.
John records my Lord Jesus saying that those who would worship God must worship Him in spirit and in truth. So before I go further, as head of my household, I must live a life of truth. But what is truth? There is no more taste in living a life spent chasing the ephemeral. God wants reconciliation, and He cries when even one person is hurt. Why would Jesus, who knew that He was bringing Lazarus back to life, weep? Shouldn't He be celebrating? He wept because He felt the pain of those who loved Lazarus.
And I had caused someone in my life to weep. And I had hated someone enough to have killed him in my thoughts a hundred times over. This pain & hate defined me until Jesus set me free. Free to walk away from that character-defining hatred, but most important, free to forgive them, to ask for their forgiveness, to seek reconciliation. I feel that this reconciliation must be done before I can move on to help my Chinese brothers & sisters. Anything less would not be living a life of truth.
Sunday, October 05, 2014
Small space living
Small space living means taking one's workout sessions out along the common corridor.
Saturday, October 04, 2014
Why I left Shanghai pt 3
Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. - A letter written to the Hebrews.
Growing up as an only child, I am more comfortable being by myself than in community. But being isolated is not what God created us for. Even Jesus, when He retreated away from the crowds, was never isolated from community, because His retreat was for private communion with God the Father. How can God be love, if love needs both a lover and a beloved, and before the creation of man there was no one but God?
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
God the Father has always loved God the Son in eternity. That is why John, the beloved disciple of Jesus, could claim that God is love.
By isolating myself from community, I had also isolated myself from God. It is a mistake to think that I can go at it alone in my relationship with Him, or even have my family exist apart from the greater community of neighbours, fellow Christians, and those whom we come into contact with.
So by the end of 2012, I lost any vision beyond the petty matters of daily work. I was on the verge of quitting from the job, and breaking my contract with my employers. All because work had neither taste nor purpose to me. It was then, through a combination of her great love for me and the love God had put into her heart, that my dear Geraldine prayed for God to send Christian brothers to speak with me, and for God to show me a glimpse of His vision for China. I had also asked Him to speak to me.
It was no coincidence there was a gathering of Christian expatriate men in January 2013, in a posh hotel somewhere in an industrial/high-tech business area in Pudong, Shanghai. It was, in fact, an annual gathering to hear testimonies, and visions and purposes for foreign Christians working in Shanghai. The theme for that particular gathering was “Hearing God’s Voice in the Marketplace”. The speaker was a certain Paul Hawkins, a leader of YWAM. I’m including his name here for future reference.
Without going into the details of the 2-day meeting, I realized that I did not hear from God because I chose not to. Why should He speak if I was not going to obey? Do I want to hear His voice like I would a CD? Popping on the headphones only when I want to feel good?
After repentance and prayers, God revealed a part of His vision for China. He is moving His body of believers in China, giving the Chinese economic power and favour with nations in Central Asia. He is training the Chinese church in leadership roles, using Christian expatriates as mentors. I am privileged that God chose to use my family to reach out to the Shanghai community. In a small way, my family brought the light of the Gospel to a small corner of Shanghai, touching one family, or even one person at a time.
God would reveal a larger part of His vision to me barely five months later, as the summer of 2013 approached. This time, not through a large gathering in a posh hotel in far-flung Pudong, but in a small Korean house church along a quiet street in messy Hongqiao.
Growing up as an only child, I am more comfortable being by myself than in community. But being isolated is not what God created us for. Even Jesus, when He retreated away from the crowds, was never isolated from community, because His retreat was for private communion with God the Father. How can God be love, if love needs both a lover and a beloved, and before the creation of man there was no one but God?
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
God the Father has always loved God the Son in eternity. That is why John, the beloved disciple of Jesus, could claim that God is love.
By isolating myself from community, I had also isolated myself from God. It is a mistake to think that I can go at it alone in my relationship with Him, or even have my family exist apart from the greater community of neighbours, fellow Christians, and those whom we come into contact with.
So by the end of 2012, I lost any vision beyond the petty matters of daily work. I was on the verge of quitting from the job, and breaking my contract with my employers. All because work had neither taste nor purpose to me. It was then, through a combination of her great love for me and the love God had put into her heart, that my dear Geraldine prayed for God to send Christian brothers to speak with me, and for God to show me a glimpse of His vision for China. I had also asked Him to speak to me.
It was no coincidence there was a gathering of Christian expatriate men in January 2013, in a posh hotel somewhere in an industrial/high-tech business area in Pudong, Shanghai. It was, in fact, an annual gathering to hear testimonies, and visions and purposes for foreign Christians working in Shanghai. The theme for that particular gathering was “Hearing God’s Voice in the Marketplace”. The speaker was a certain Paul Hawkins, a leader of YWAM. I’m including his name here for future reference.
Without going into the details of the 2-day meeting, I realized that I did not hear from God because I chose not to. Why should He speak if I was not going to obey? Do I want to hear His voice like I would a CD? Popping on the headphones only when I want to feel good?
After repentance and prayers, God revealed a part of His vision for China. He is moving His body of believers in China, giving the Chinese economic power and favour with nations in Central Asia. He is training the Chinese church in leadership roles, using Christian expatriates as mentors. I am privileged that God chose to use my family to reach out to the Shanghai community. In a small way, my family brought the light of the Gospel to a small corner of Shanghai, touching one family, or even one person at a time.
God would reveal a larger part of His vision to me barely five months later, as the summer of 2013 approached. This time, not through a large gathering in a posh hotel in far-flung Pudong, but in a small Korean house church along a quiet street in messy Hongqiao.
Friday, October 03, 2014
The price of money
What is a cynic? He is a man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing.
Oscar Wilde may not have referred to tuition fees, but what if the price of higher education was zero? This seems a preposterous idea, especially to Singaporeans raised on the notion that money and quality are directly correlated, even though the example of political office-holders’ salaries has shown the contrary.
So would you give free tuition if you ran a university? The good people of Germany this week did, or rather, undid. After experimenting with charging tuition fees in 2005, all tertiary institutions have reverted to their original FOC status from this autumnal semester onwards.
We got rid of tuition fees because we do not want higher education which depends on the wealth of the parents. - Gabriele Heinen-Kljajic, Lower Saxony's Minister for Science.
This is a refreshing change from an economic system gone mad with monetizing anything and everything. When we base all human transactions and relations on money, or what we can take away, we turn into cynics. What are the FAQs in your life? How much for an afternoon’s ride on that rented bike? Who should foot the bill on this dinner date? What is the return on this house viz-a-viz mortgage interest? When are my children going to grow up so they can pay for my retirement? Where should I migrate for the lowest cost of living?
For the love of money is the root of all evil.
Paul of Tarsus was most definitely not an economics consultant, but he knew enough about the human condition when he first wrote to Timothy in the first century AD. A man becomes cynical even about God when he can name the price of things in life. I wonder what the Roman soldier did with Jesus’ coat after he won the lottery at the foot of the cross? Probably sold it for twenty pieces of silver.
A Chinese acquaintance of mine once remarked that those problems we face in the everyday aren’t really problems if they can be made to disappear with money. So what about the problems that don’t vanish when one throws money at them?
The worship of the ancient golden calf has returned in a new and ruthless guise in the idolatry of money and the dictatorship of an impersonal economy lacking a truly human purpose. - Pope Francis
Oscar Wilde may not have referred to tuition fees, but what if the price of higher education was zero? This seems a preposterous idea, especially to Singaporeans raised on the notion that money and quality are directly correlated, even though the example of political office-holders’ salaries has shown the contrary.
So would you give free tuition if you ran a university? The good people of Germany this week did, or rather, undid. After experimenting with charging tuition fees in 2005, all tertiary institutions have reverted to their original FOC status from this autumnal semester onwards.
We got rid of tuition fees because we do not want higher education which depends on the wealth of the parents. - Gabriele Heinen-Kljajic, Lower Saxony's Minister for Science.
This is a refreshing change from an economic system gone mad with monetizing anything and everything. When we base all human transactions and relations on money, or what we can take away, we turn into cynics. What are the FAQs in your life? How much for an afternoon’s ride on that rented bike? Who should foot the bill on this dinner date? What is the return on this house viz-a-viz mortgage interest? When are my children going to grow up so they can pay for my retirement? Where should I migrate for the lowest cost of living?
For the love of money is the root of all evil.
Paul of Tarsus was most definitely not an economics consultant, but he knew enough about the human condition when he first wrote to Timothy in the first century AD. A man becomes cynical even about God when he can name the price of things in life. I wonder what the Roman soldier did with Jesus’ coat after he won the lottery at the foot of the cross? Probably sold it for twenty pieces of silver.
A Chinese acquaintance of mine once remarked that those problems we face in the everyday aren’t really problems if they can be made to disappear with money. So what about the problems that don’t vanish when one throws money at them?
The worship of the ancient golden calf has returned in a new and ruthless guise in the idolatry of money and the dictatorship of an impersonal economy lacking a truly human purpose. - Pope Francis
Thursday, October 02, 2014
Why I left Shanghai pt 2
By the summer of 2012 I didn't know what I was doing in Shanghai anymore, having gone there on a response to a small ad in the Jobs section of the Straits Times in 2008. Life was comfortable as a high-school teacher on an expatriate package in a low cost city. But (there's always this word with a big fat B) something was eating me inside. I blamed it on everyone else but my own lack of gratitude.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Husbands & fathers will agree with me that one of the first signs that something isn't right with a man is when he stops talking to his wife. It's easy to hide behind a veneer of respectability when a man is outside of the home. We were a picturesque family of harmonious smiles, but I had stopped communicating with my wife. That was not the way God intended any marriage to be. That wasn't the truth.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Just like the Godly wife whom wise King Lemuel wrote about, my wife began to pray for me, that He would give me a glimpse of His vision for China. She sensed my loss of vision, and asked God to show me His. A lesser woman would have prayed for the uncomfortable situation to be taken away. But that's not how things worked with God, and she knew God enough to know that.
Things started to happen in the winter of 2012/13. A series of events showing me that there are no coincidences in life.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Husbands & fathers will agree with me that one of the first signs that something isn't right with a man is when he stops talking to his wife. It's easy to hide behind a veneer of respectability when a man is outside of the home. We were a picturesque family of harmonious smiles, but I had stopped communicating with my wife. That was not the way God intended any marriage to be. That wasn't the truth.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Just like the Godly wife whom wise King Lemuel wrote about, my wife began to pray for me, that He would give me a glimpse of His vision for China. She sensed my loss of vision, and asked God to show me His. A lesser woman would have prayed for the uncomfortable situation to be taken away. But that's not how things worked with God, and she knew God enough to know that.
Things started to happen in the winter of 2012/13. A series of events showing me that there are no coincidences in life.
The difficulty of resting
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
These are the words of Jesus, Son of God. Who would've known that it's not easy to obey Him? I've lived a life full of agenda, schedule, time-tables, and expectations. It's not easy to give up all that, especially among a people who equate idle moments with inefficiency.
But am I made for work, or is work made for my benefit? Do I have my identity in doing instead of simply being a child of God? Does God love me because of what I can do? Or does His love remain steadfast through my entire life?
Fathers, do you love your children because of what they can do? Do you love them more for being able to recite multiplication tables? Do you love them less when they spill food on the floor for the n-th time?
...for He makes His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
Rest, my anxious heart, rest. God loves me simply because He is God.
...for God is love.
These are the words of Jesus, Son of God. Who would've known that it's not easy to obey Him? I've lived a life full of agenda, schedule, time-tables, and expectations. It's not easy to give up all that, especially among a people who equate idle moments with inefficiency.
But am I made for work, or is work made for my benefit? Do I have my identity in doing instead of simply being a child of God? Does God love me because of what I can do? Or does His love remain steadfast through my entire life?
Fathers, do you love your children because of what they can do? Do you love them more for being able to recite multiplication tables? Do you love them less when they spill food on the floor for the n-th time?
...for He makes His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
Rest, my anxious heart, rest. God loves me simply because He is God.
...for God is love.
Wednesday, October 01, 2014
Why I left Shanghai
Some have asked me the reason for my departure. I’m also writing this to clarify my thoughts, so many things happened over the past six years that it is difficult for me to remember everything.
The most direct would also be the most appropriate. It starts with what my Lord, Jesus, said to a bunch of people who wanted to follow Him but were hesitant because of other commitments. Jesus’ reply was, “No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”
So here was His reply to me, a self-proclaimed Christian, by definition a follower of Christ. Knowing that I had, and am still looking back, didn’t sit well with me. There is a feeling in me that I am living a life less than true. That I am unfit for the kingdom of God.
A conversation with an older and wiser Christian brother one Saturday morning had me questioning my interpretation of the truth, much like Pilate, who asked, what is truth? I came to recognize that I don’t have a firm handle of what truth really is. I had missed the truth even as it was out in plain sight. In reply to Thomas’ question about finding the way to God, Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth…” So truth isn’t a concept, idea, or agenda. Truth is a person, and that person is Jesus Christ.
The most direct would also be the most appropriate. It starts with what my Lord, Jesus, said to a bunch of people who wanted to follow Him but were hesitant because of other commitments. Jesus’ reply was, “No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”
So here was His reply to me, a self-proclaimed Christian, by definition a follower of Christ. Knowing that I had, and am still looking back, didn’t sit well with me. There is a feeling in me that I am living a life less than true. That I am unfit for the kingdom of God.
A conversation with an older and wiser Christian brother one Saturday morning had me questioning my interpretation of the truth, much like Pilate, who asked, what is truth? I came to recognize that I don’t have a firm handle of what truth really is. I had missed the truth even as it was out in plain sight. In reply to Thomas’ question about finding the way to God, Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth…” So truth isn’t a concept, idea, or agenda. Truth is a person, and that person is Jesus Christ.
Travails of the Colony
A friend of mine went to Admiralty last night, and sent me some live photos of the situation. It looked more orderly than the aftermath of a rock concert, with thousands of people dressed in black milling about, clearing rubbish, and displaying banners of support for both protesters and police. This has got to be the most polite act of civil disobedience in recent history, with umbrellas taking on a significance that no one anticipated, thanks to the riot squad’s trigger-happy fingers on the tear gas launchers over the weekend.
What struck me was neither the ideals nor the politics behind it all but that I was there just two months ago, right in the heart of Causeway Bay. The Hong Kong people are so very polite, it is hard to imagine them ever rising up against authority. Even my docile friends and former students there have risen up against what they perceive is one in a long chain of broken promises.
The pre-amble to the Declaration of Independence (yes, THAT one that Nicholas Cage tried to steal in your Hollywood fantasies) sums my thoughts best, “…all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government.”
Who was it who said that power never concedes without a push?
(photo by YF)
What struck me was neither the ideals nor the politics behind it all but that I was there just two months ago, right in the heart of Causeway Bay. The Hong Kong people are so very polite, it is hard to imagine them ever rising up against authority. Even my docile friends and former students there have risen up against what they perceive is one in a long chain of broken promises.
The pre-amble to the Declaration of Independence (yes, THAT one that Nicholas Cage tried to steal in your Hollywood fantasies) sums my thoughts best, “…all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government.”
Who was it who said that power never concedes without a push?
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